Flame of Hope

The journey of self discovery

zen habits: Staring Out Over the Bridge

September 8th, 2010
Staring Out Over the Bridge

Posted: 07 Sep 2010 07:38 AM PDT

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Chris Guillebeau of The Art of Non-Conformity. Follow him on Twitter here.

When you were a kid and wanted to do something your parents or teachers didn’t like, you may have heard the question, “If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?” The idea is that it’s not good to do something stupid, even if everyone else is doing it. The logic is think for yourself instead of following the crowd.

It’s good advice, regardless of the motivations of the authority figure giving it to you. But one day, you grow up and suddenly the tables are turned. People start expecting you to behave very much like they do. If you disagree and don’t conform to their expectations, some of them get confused or irritated. It’s almost as if they are asking: “Hey, everyone else is jumping off the bridge. Why aren’t you?”

Every day, you’ll encounter the bridge in countless decisions and conversations—but the choice of whether to jump or not is completely up to you. How can you back away and make your own choices?

Try this:

1. Ask why. A powerful, annoying question, why is frequently used by three-year-olds but usually abandoned by adults. Support the why revolution. Start asking why of everyone, including yourself.

2. Clarify. What’s it all about? What do you really want to do, and how can you make that the priority?

3. Simplify. That’s what minimalism is all about—letting go and living the dream. But the best part of simplicity has nothing to do with how many socks you own; it lies in being clear about your intentions and motivations.

4. Do … more. That’s right, do more, not less. When you don’t know your core passions and are staring out over the bridge, it’s good to back off and strip everything down. But when you’re crafting a remarkable life, why wouldn’t you want more of it?

Here are a few options for step four: learn a language. Write a book. Take a trip. Learn to walk on hot coals. Enroll in trapeze school. Volunteer.

Or do something else—it’s a big world out there. The main question is: How can you wake up tomorrow and live the life you want, while also connecting with the world around you?

Most of us don’t really want the simplest possible life. We want a life that is free from clutter, yes—but we need to connect our lives with a greater purpose. We don’t need to own things we don’t use, but we should spend freely on meaningful experiences. We should invest in ourselves and invest in others.

Take a hard look at the life before you. Are you staring out over the bridge? Take a step back. Decide for yourself what’s best.

The rest is entirely up to you.

Chris Guillebeau travels and writes for a small army of remarkable people at chrisguillebeau.com. His new book, The Art of Non-Conformity, is now available online and in bookstores everywhere.
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Some recent posts on mnmlist you might be interested in:
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zen habits: find stillness to cure the illness

September 7th, 2010
find stillness to cure the illness

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 06:42 AM PDT

“Silence is a source of great strength.” ~Lao Tzu

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on twitter .

It’s a busy day, and you’re inundated by non-stop emails, text messages, phone calls, instant message requests, notifications, interruptions of all kinds.

The noise of the world is a dull roar that pervades every second of your life. It’s a rush of activity, a drain on your energy, a pull on your attention, until you no longer have the energy to pay attention or take action.

It’s an illness, this noise, this rush. It can literally make us sick. We become stressed, depressed, fat, burnt out, slain by the slings and arrows of technology.

The cure is simple: it’s stillness.

Pause

Take a minute out of your busy day to do this little exercise: pause in the middle of all you have to do, all that’s going on around you. Close your eyes, and sit still. Breathe in, and breathe out, and pay attention to your breath as it comes in and goes out. Just sit still, for about a minute.

This stillness might seem like inaction, which we’re taught is a bad thing. It’s lazy, it’s passive, it’s against our Puritan work ethic. And yet, this simple inaction can change our world.

Stillness calms us. It gives us a small oasis of quiet that allows us to hear our thoughts, that allows us to catch our breath, that gives us room to breathe at all. It is the antibody to the stress and rush we feel daily.

“Activity conquers cold, but stillness conquers heat.” ~Lao Tzu

The Strength of Stillness

Stillness has a calming effect on the world around us as well. By becoming still, we cause others to pause, to pay attention. Our quiet also quiets others. We set the mood for those who work and otherwise interact with us.

When we rush and set a frenetic pace, it stresses others and inspires them to rush frenetically too. Stillness has the opposite effect. It slows the world down, allows us to focus, gives us time for contemplation, for what matters most.

It takes strength to be still when others rush. It takes courage to be different, to go against the stream. But while others might think us weird at first, that’s OK. Sometimes it’s the weird ones that make the most difference. And soon, as our stillness inspires others to find stillness of their own, we won’t be the weird ones — we’ll be the ones with wisdom.

It takes strength to find stillness when the world around us is a chaos of activity, but it’s a strength that’s in us, and we need only to find it. Paradoxically, it’s stillness that will allow us to find that strength. Be still, look within, and it’ll be there.

Finding Stillness

It’s pretty simple, really, and you don’t need me to tell you to do this: to find stillness, you just need to take the time to sit still, every day that you can.

Find a time in the morning, when the world is still fairly quiet, to sit still. Don’t do anything, don’t plan your day, don’t check email, don’t eat. Just sit, and learn to be comfortable being still.

In practice, we’ll gradually find that comfort, and we’ll become good at it. If mornings are no good, find time during your lunch break, or after work, or just before you go to bed.

Find a place to be still. It can be a chair in your house, or a front porch, or the roof. It can be a park bench, or the beach, or a path in the woods. Let this be a ritual that you come to look forward to.

From this small place of stillness, calm will carry to the rest of your day, radiating like a soothing force. You’ll be calmer throughout the day, and learn to find little pockets of stillness everywhere: when you first start your workday, when you are ready to sit down and create, when you’re about to eat, when you are ready to exercise, during a meeting, even.

Practice, regularly. Practice, and learn. Practice stillness, and the stillness becomes a canvas upon which you can paint the masterpiece of your life.

“Let us be silent, that we may hear the whispers of the gods.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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What are Your Values?? Making value centered choices

August 19th, 2010

VALUES CLARIFICATION EXERCISE

  1. The Living Your Vision® process is based on the premise that your quality of life is influenced by the extent to which you honor your personal values. Please read through the following list of values and qualities and circle any that feel particularly important to you.
Abundance Competition Exhilaration Inspiration Personal growth Sensuality
Acceptance Completion Expansion Integration Persuasion Serenity
Accomplishment Conformity Expert Integrity Planning Service
Accuracy Congruent Faith Intimacy Playfulness Sincerity
Achievement Connection Family Intuition Pleasure Solitude
Action Contemplation Feeling Invention Power Space
Adventure Contentment Flexibility Judgment Preparation Spirit
Aesthetics Contribution Focus Justice Privacy Spirituality
Alignment Control Forgiveness Laughter Process Spontaneity
Altruism Courage Freedom Leadership Professionalism Stimulation
Artistic Creativity Fun Learning Prosperity Strength
Assistance Dedication Glamour Love Quest Superiority
Attainment Delight Grace Loyalty Question Synthesis
Augment Dependable Gratitude Magic Radiance Tenderness
Authenticity Devotion Guidance Magnificence Realization Thinking
Autonomy Direct Harmony Mastery Recognition Thoughtfulness
Awareness Discernment Health Movement Refinement Thrill
Awe Discovery Holistic Mysticism Reflection Touch
Balance Divinity Honesty Nature Relationship Transformation
Beauty Drama Honor Nurture Religious Trust
Bliss Dream Hope Openness Resilience Truth
Bravery Educate Humor Orderliness Responsibility Understanding
Calm Elegance Image Originality Reverence Uniqueness
Candor Empowerment Imagination Partnership Risk taking Unity
Choice Encouragement Improvement Patience Romance Vision
Clarity Energy Independence Peacefulness Safety Vitality
Comfort Enjoyment Influence Perception Satisfaction Vulnerability
Commitment Enlightenment Information Perfection Security Wealth
Community Entertainment Ingenuity Performance Self expression Wholeness
Compassion Excellence Inquisitive Perseverance Sensation Will
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The Wastefulness of Decluttering; or How to Make Less Count for More

August 19th, 2010

The Wastefulness of Decluttering; or How to Make Less Count for More


Don’t throw the good away with the bad.

‘It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly.’ ~Bertrand Russell

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on twitter or identica.

I know there are many of you who want to declutter, or who have already gotten started … but you hit a roadblock.

And it’s a big one: you don’t want to be wasteful. Your gut tells you that getting rid of perfectly good things — things that cost a pretty penny to get in the first place — is wasteful as hell.

I recently received this letter from Marissa, a brilliant reader:

“I am currently going through my possessions for the umpteenth time to have/own less. My issue I am having now, is that when I donate/throw away items I don’t “need” I feel like I am wasting money. At one point in time I used my hard earned money to buy this item and now I just want to get rid of it. Though this does help in my future shopping habits so I don’t buy anything on a whim or just because I want to have it, I feel like I am throwing away money into the trash/donation bins.”

This is such a common question that I thought I’d address it here — if you’re holding onto stuff because you feel it would be a waste of good money if you got rid of it, here is the answer you are looking for:

I hereby release you of your burden.

You are free. You bought these items with hard-earned money, and you don’t want that money to go to waste, so you’ve been holding onto them. It’s a burden that keeps you from freeing yourself of these unneeded possessions — it forces to you keep the space they occupy, to maintain these possessions, to constantly see them every day even if you don’t want them, to walk around them or trip over them or live in a cramped, cluttered space. This is a burden, paying penance for your initial wasted expenditure of cash.

But: the waste was when you bought it, not when you get rid of it. You bought something you didn’t really need — and the real waste would be to ignore this and not learn from it.

So here’s how to make sure that by decluttering possessions you don’t need, it’s not a waste:

1. Learn your lesson. This might sound condescending, but it’s not meant to be — if we don’t realize our mistakes, we can’t learn and avoid them in the future. So realize: you shouldn’t have bought the items in the first place. Avoid doing this in the future, by buying as little as you possibly can. Stop being a consumer, and start living.

2. Realize that keeping the items is wasteful. If you keep stuff you don’t need, it costs you money — you pay for the space to store it (lots of possessions means bigger homes or storage containers), you pay to maintain it, it costs you time (and therefore money) to keep it and go around it, you have to fix things when they break, you have to sort through things to find things, you spend time moving things around, and so on. Getting rid of this unnecessary stuff frees you of this waste.

3. Find someone who will use it. It’s a waste to keep something when you’re not using it (a good reason car-sharing is a much better use of cars than private ownership, btw). So find a friend or family member who needs it, or give it to Goodwill or some other such charity, or donate it to a library that will let many others use it. Consider starting a neighborhood tool library, or a book-sharing spot in your community. When someone else uses your items, it’s not a waste.

4. Test the waters. If you’re unsure of whether you’ll need something later, put it to a test: have you used it in the last six months? If not, you probably don’t need it (unless it’s seasonal — then ask if you needed it in the last year). If you’re still unsure, box it up with today’s date, and check on it in six months — if you never needed to open the box, you didn’t need it.

5. Don’t let your possessions own you. If you hold on to possessions because you feel it would be wasteful to get rid of them, they are controlling you. They are dictating your life, rather than you creating the life you want, living how you want to live. Let go of possessions and be free — living otherwise would be the true waste.

6. Make better use of your time and space. Once you’re freed of this clutter, don’t waste your freed time on acquiring more stuff. Spend your time on incredible experiences, not on possessions. In the end, get a smaller house, now that you need to store less stuff, and help save the earth while you’re at it (a smaller home, along with ditching your car and becoming vegan, is one of the most important things you can do to reduce your carbon emissions).

‘Don’t water your weeds.’ ~Harvey MacKay

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Guest post “How to be Insanely Productive and Still Keep Smiling”

July 28th, 2010

I am too busy enjoying the summer to write content, but not too busy to share what great content that comes my way – enjoy

Posted: 21 Jul 2010 11:01 AM PDT

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Mary Jaksch of Goodlife ZEN.
Do you want to be more productive? Maybe you do, but I’m sure you don’t want to feel stressed, overwhelmed, or unhappy – which happens to many super-productive people. But there is good news:

You can be insanely productive – and still smell the freesias, savor a Pinot Noir, or enjoy a languid hug.

A few weeks ago Leo Babauta said to me, “Mary – you’re one of the most productive people I know. And you still keep smiling and seem so relaxed. How do you do it?”

Most stuff I’ve read about productivity is about doing things differently. Like getting up at 4 a.m. each morning, or drinking eight liters of water a day, or keeping a notebook under the pillow. Sorry, folks – I don’t do any of those things.

High productivity isn’t about doing, it’s about being.

If you want to be highly productive – and still enjoy life – you need to look at how you live, and how you use your mind. Check out the following five suggestions:

1.  Make peace within.
Most people live in a constant state of inner conflict and suffer from a barrage of negative thoughts that sabotage productivity.

Here’s a scenario: Imagine that your car has landed in a ditch. A group of helpers gather, attach ropes and start to pull the car out. Unfortunately, they’re not all pulling in the same direction. Some try to pull the car toward the road, whereas others try to pull it deeper into the ditch. It’s absurd.

That’s exactly what happens when we’re divided within: everything is a struggle, nothing much happens, and it’s frustrating. But what if your mind, body, and soul are all aligned?

When our energy is aligned, we are in a state of flow.

When we’re at peace within, and immersed in the task at hand – without negative thoughts sabotaging our productivity – action becomes effortless. We’re able to achieve much more in less time. And with more enjoyment.

Tip: Wear an elastic wristband. Whenever you notice negative thoughts, change your wristband to the other arm. This will help you to create and maintain peace within.

2.  Go to your edge. Regularly.
Most people use only a fraction of their capacity and try to save personal energy. For example, we’re tempted to rest when we feel tired in order to recover our zest for life. Wrong move! The more energy you spend, the more you have.

Tiredness can signal many things. If you’re healthy, it may mean that you are bored, frustrated, lack movement, or need more oxygen. Or maybe conflict within has sapped your energy. It’s important to go to your limits regularly. Take up running, martial arts, swimming, or other activities – there are many way to exercise vigorously.

Tip: If you feel exhausted or lethargic, go for a brisk walk in order to rev up your energy and restore your spirit.

3.  Take action.
Most people aren’t productive because they don’t take action. They have dreams and even plans – but they don’t follow through. Negative thoughts can derail action. It may be that you have doubts about your ability, or that you listen to others who doubt you.

Tip: Look at what you would like to achieve and ask yourself, “What is the smallest step in the direction of my dreams that I can take right now?” Then take that baby step. Now.

4.  Do what you love.
Think about how you spend your time. Do you enjoy your work, or is it a grind? I’ve changed my life, and what I’m passionate about has now become my work: I teach my Zen students, and also work together with Leo to mentor bloggers in the A-list Blogger Club .

A few days ago my partner David knocked at the door of the little cabin in the garden where I work:

“Mary,” he said, “ do you realize it’s 10 o’clock at night – and you’re still working?”
“I’m not working!” I shot back. “I’m enjoying myself!”

Yes, when the boundary between work and play gets blurred, you may actually work more – but it feels like you’re just having fun.

Tip: Follow your dreams – even if it’s only for ten minutes a day.

Love what you do.
We can’t always do what we love. But we are free to love what we do. From a Zen perspective, there is a way to turn even the dullest chore into pleasurable activity through mindfulness.When we pay tender regard to our present experience – letting go of all thoughts and judgments – even the most mundane action can become pleasurable. Mindfulness doesn’t mean watching yourself, it means being fully present, moment by moment.

Tip: In order to become mindful, notice sensations of the moment. What sounds can you hear? How are your feet connected with the ground? What does your skin feel like?

5.  Finally, a key question you need to ask …

If you want to be productive and still enjoy life, there is a key question you need to answer: why be productive?

I mean, why not just chill out on the couch, eat potato crisps, and watch TV reruns? That might be fine. But what about the oblong box we’re all going to end up in?

I remind myself every morning that life is short and mine may be over by nightfall. That gives me the the desire to taste and enjoy each moment. It also adds a measure of calm urgency because I want to leave a mark upon the world. Do you?

If so, mindful productivity will help you create a life that offers both pleasure and productivity. You’ll achieve more, and you’ll still keep smiling. That smile will light up not only your own life, but also the lives of those around you.

You don’t have to be a super-hero. Simply make peace within and live each moment fully. That’s all.

Mary Jaksch is a Zen Master and blogger. Head over to Goodlife Zen for more of her articles. And visit the A-List Blogger Club.

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Lesson Three; Who am I? Session 1, Values

July 22nd, 2010

Session 1 – Values.  Values are simply things of value in our lives.   Generally the things we value become habits.  Values themselves are neither positive nor negative, they just are.  The way they make you feel is very strong and that feeling can be positive or negative.  They have an important influence on your quality of life.    What I have discovered is that to the extent we are engaged in activities that are in line with what we value and believe in, that we are the happiest and most satisfied.

So where do values come from?  Values are developed over a lifetime as we explore the various areas of our lives.  We try things and succeed or fail.  We accept the successes and as the experiences are repeated and we have the same satisfactory result, they become things of value, and give us pleasure.  Things we do not succeed at or feel like a failure are seldom repeated and they do not become values. So as we have satisfactory experiences with family, friends, peers, teachers and others we develop or add to our value experiences.  So where do bad habits come from?  They are generally patterns of thought that we have not tried in reality- things we believe to be better than anything we have tried to date.  Even if they do not give us pleasure, they are familiar and better than any alternative we have experienced.

It is also true that in my experience, teens have not given any thought to or paid any attention to their feelings – this goes for values and rules we live by even more – so this may be a challenging lesson for all.  I am enclosing a values exercise (shared tools and services category) for adults – just to check out your feelings about your values before you begin with your teen.  Here are several other exercises that you can use to check out what you value:

  • Have you had a traumatic experience either heath related or emotional trauma?  What did you learn?  Where did you focus your time and attention?  When we are forced by circumstances to realize what our priorities are, where we spend our emotional time – it usually leads to what we really value.  It may not be a direct correlation, but if you examine the why behind the what, it usually leads to a real value.
  • A friend of mine had a process he used to keep focused on what was important, verses what was urgent.  He said if he only had 6 months to live what did he want to focus his time and energy on?  So what if you knew for sure you had 6 months of unlimited resources (health, wealth, energy – all the resources at your immediate disposal) how would you spend your time and why?  This will not only give you your real values, but a priority of values as well.
  • Since teens most likely will not relate well with the adult value exercise, I suggest the following:
    • Using the wheel of life and section descriptions found in section 3 above determine one or more values for each.  Remember that “values” are things of value in our life, things that we feel good about.  So for example:
    • “Myself” – how I feel about the collective me- I value:
      • A healthy mind, body and spirit
      • My sense of humor
  • Play – How am I finding enough time to play?
    • Time I give back to myself the excitement of childhood
    • Time to  explore what I may become
  • Friends – Groups, close friends, people I respect and can trust.
    • People who tell me like it is who I feel comfortable in confiding in and people who are like minded.
    • People who feed my soul
  • Special Gifts – What are my special gifts and talents?  What am I know for?  Am I using them in important areas of my life?
    • I value my vision and ability to help others discover their life purpose
  • Helping Others – How am I doing at helping others, community service, tutor or mentoring others?
    • I value my gift of listening and understanding
    • I value my time of coaching
  • School – How am I doing?  Am I satisfier with my classes, teachers’, school, where I am headed after High School?  Do I have a plan for what’s next?
    • I value my excitement for continuous  learning
    • I read new materials relating to careers and self improvement so that I have more to share
  • What’s missing?  An area to fill in a part of your life not explored in the wheel!
  • Family – Parents, bothers/sisters, relatives, grandparents, heritage, pets.
    • My family is very important to me and gives me hours of pleasure.
  • Money and resources- What I earn, jobs, allowances and expenses (what I need).
    • I value our resources as a means to accomplishing my life purpose
    • I value a lifestyle revolving around freedom of  time and money

So now you have a better idea of what you and your teen values.  This is vital information in determining an appropriate job or career path, since any goals or work that is not in line with your values will not bring you work satisfaction and will feel very uncomfortable.

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Simplify Your Life – How to get rid of things and buy what you need!

July 4th, 2010

I am including a guest post for all of you who are considering if and how to simplify live a freer lifestyle.

The post gives you some great criteria for making decisions on what to keep and what to pitch, but consider what to buy using this concept:  does it support your vision and or dream; does it move you closer to your dream (perhaps building an infrastructure for your purpose) and/or does it create an experience that you have always wanted to have.  Please read on!

How to Simplify When You Love Your Stuff

Posted: 02 Jul 2010 07:00 AM PDT

“It all depends on whether you have things, or they have you.” ~Robert A. Cook

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Barrie Davenport of Live Bold and Bloom.

Simplicity. It is a lovely ancient spiritual tradition that has seen a recent resurgence in popularity.  As we try to make sense of our erratic economy and the accompanying financial anxiety, it is natural to leap to a less risky lifestyle extreme — stop spending, scale back, live lean.

If you are a regular reader of Zen Habits, you are probably intrigued by the idea of simplifying. In fact, you may have even given up many material things and actively live a very simple life. People who have adopted this level of  simplicity, especially in the land of consumerism, are incredibly inspiring and fascinating.

But let’s be real here. In spite of embracing the concept of simplicity, most people really love their stuff, and they love acquiring more stuff. Like our attitudes about a healthy diet, our feelings about material things are complicated. We know what’s good for us, but we just don’t want to give up what we like. Our stuff makes us feel good.

Is it possible to live a simple life and still love stuff? How much letting go of stuff really counts toward simplifying anyway?

Living simply and detaching from material things will make you happier. There is real research and lots of anecdotal evidence to support the truth of this. But is it possible that some material things can add to our happiness, sense of contentment and joy in life? If so, how do you go about deciding what’s good stuff and what’s bad?

Perhaps the deciding factor is motivation. Do the things that you own or wish to buy support your ego, or do they enliven your soul? Some material things can afford you a sense of warmth, coziness, beauty, fond memories, or comfort. There are other things that offer only that fleeting rush of acquisition.

If you infuse mindfulness into your ideas and actions around material things, you can create a gentle balance between loving stuff and living simply.

Here are some thoughts that might be useful.

1. Look around your house now.

Walk from room to room. Do you see things that you never use and don’t really care about? Why not give them away or sell them? Clear physical and psychic space by removing the “dead wood” in your environment. Someone else might really need these things.

2. Examine why you are hanging on to something.

Is it truly useful or meaningful, or does it feed your ego in some way? Are you holding on to it just to impress others or to make yourself feel better or more important?

3. Look at how you spend your time.

Do you have things you own for hobbies that you never pursue? Do you have a kitchen full of gadgets but you rarely cook? If you truly think you will come back to a hobby or activity, box things up and put them out of sight until you do. Be realistic about how much time you have to use your extraneous stuff.

4. Are you in a career that is thing-focused?

Decorators, car dealers, retailers and others involved in creating, buying, selling and marketing merchandise, can have a hard time detaching from material things because they are always surrounded by the newest and best. There is beauty and art in many things, but consider this: you don’t have to own them all to appreciate them. Eckhart Tolle once suggested to Oprah Winfrey that she not buy everything she likes or wants — just savor it for the moment in the store.

5. Consider experiences rather than things.

On the whole, experiential purchases provide far more pleasure than material purchases. The memory of experiences improves with time, but material purchases are harder to think about abstractly. Experiences also encourage social relationships which provide long-lasting happiness. If you are itching to spend, spend on a great experience with someone you enjoy.

6. When you think about your things or want to purchase something new, consider these parameters:

  • It brings beauty into your life and stirs your soul.
  • It supports a passion or hobby.
  • It helps bring family and friends together in a creative, meaningful way.
  • It educates and enlightens.
  • It makes life profoundly simpler so that you can pursue more meaningful things.
  • It helps someone who is sick or incapacitated.
  • It is useful and necessary for day-to-day life.
  • It’s part of a meaningful tradition or a reminder of a special event.

7. You will know you are buying mindlessly if you:

  • Buy on a whim.
  • Buy to impress others.
  • Buy because you feel you deserve it.
  • Buy when you can’t afford it.
  • Buy just to update something that still works or looks fine.
  • Buy because someone else has it and you want it too.
  • Buy because the advertisement seduced you.
  • Buy because you are bored.
  • It’s purchased because buying soothes you.

It is possible to balance a simpler life with owning and acquiring material things. You can enjoy stuff without living the life of an aesthetic. The exact balance you create is a matter of personal preference. But realize there is a diminishing point of return with accumulation and materialism that undermines authentic joy and fulfillment in life.

Apply mindful purging to your current lifestyle and belongings, as well as thoughtful consideration to your future purchases. Carefully examine your motivations for keeping possessions or buying new things. Once you allow things serve your soul, rather than you being a slave to your things, your life will evolve into an artful harmony between what you have and who you are.

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Time is all there is, it is up to you how you use, spend or invest it! Guest Post from Dr Al Zimmerman

June 22nd, 2010

Dr. Zimmerman’s TUESDAY TIP:

“Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.”
Robert Orben

What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say About This:

The great business philosopher, Jim Rohn observed, “Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it, and spend it rather than invest it.”

That’s sad … because you don’t get a second chance to use it. Your first shot is your last one. You get one crack … and one crack only … at using any given period of time. And if you screw it up, too bad. There are no do-overs.

By contrast, I’ve noticed that the happiest people and the most successful are almost always very skilled in the way they invest their time. Oh sure, they get the same amount of time as anyone else, 24 hours a day, and not a minute more. But you can be certain that the way they think about time … and the way they allocate time … is very different than the way negative, demotivated people approach it.

To make sure you’re investing your time wisely, there are 4 things you’ve got to do.

=> 1. Don’t spend too much time in the past.

That would be about as foolish as trying to drive a car that had a rear-view mirror that was bigger than the windshield. You would probably crash.

And the same goes for time. If you live your life in the past, you’re going to crash the present. You’re going to ruin it.

The past only serves two purposes. It provides lessons and preserves memories. So pick up the lessons from your past. Reflect on your good memories once in a while. And then get on with the present.

As author Ida Scott Taylor wrote in the early 1900’s, “One day at a time — this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.”

=> 2. Spend the “right” amount of time on the future.

The key is the “right” amount of time. If you spend too little time, you’re living your life on auto-pilot. You’re living your life without purpose and goals … and that will never lead to happiness or success.

If you spend too much time on the future, dreaming about how good life could be … if only certain things would happen … you once again miss the present.

You’re living your life in a fantasy world, rather than working on making it happen.

Of course, I know the “right” amount of time may be somewhat of a dilemma. The comedian Jerry Seinfeld commented on that. He said, “I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication … Not easy. There’s an entire wall of products that you need. You stand there going, ‘Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting … Which is more important, the present or the future?’”

Well, Jerry, I can answer that for you. The present is more important … because what you do in the present determines your future.

The Chinese knew that hundreds of years ago. As stated in one of their ancient proverbs, “If you want to know your past, look into your present conditions.

If you want to know your future, look into your present actions.”

=> 3. Focus on the present.

As I tell my audiences, “Wherever you are, be there!” Don’t fret about work when you’re at home, and don’t worry about the kids when you’re at work. Learn to be totally present.

The great conductor Arturo Toscanini mastered the skill. On his 80th birthday, someone asked his son Walter what his father ranked as his most important achievement. The son replied, “For him there can be no such thing. Whatever he happens to be doing at the moment is the biggest thing in his life — whether it is conducting a symphony or peeling an orange.”

Indeed, learning to live in the “now” may be critical to your success. As change expert Price Pritchett puts it, “Fast growth requires … a strong sense of ‘now-ness.’” You have to maximize the value of the moment.

As Pritchett goes on to say, “Pay attention. Consciously watch how you’re spending the fleeting now, and consider the payback you’ll get. Are you making a good investment of your hours and minutes? Or are you wasting these scarce resources … spending time on stuff that offers little return … fumbling the opportunity for fast growth?”

You need to show great respect for the now. If you fill it with right behaviors, you’ll be rewarded with fast results.

And finally,

=> 4. Adopt the mind set of living in the present.

Now I know that’s easier said than done … that we all need to live in the present. But it can be done … if you reflect on a few slogans throughout your day. In fact, you can even write them down, put them on a card, and read the card three or four times a day.

And thanks to the millions of people who have gone through 12-step programs or other recovery programs, these slogans have been time tested and proven to work. So give them a try. They’ll keep you focused on the present.

**Easy does it.

**First things first.

**How important is it?

**Just for today.

**Keep it simple.

**Keep an open mind.

**Let go and let God.

**Let it begin with me.

**Listen and learn.

**Live and let live.

**One day at a time.

**Progress not perfection.

Yes, the more you reflect on these slogans, the easier it will be for you to live your life to the fullest … in the present. And if you want to get real technical about it, the present is the only time you have anyway.

As mentioned in “The 500 Year Delta” by Jim Taylor and Watts Wacker, “Once upon a time, you could live in three tenses — the past, the present, and the future. There was a time to consult history; there was a time to plan to what lay ahead. The present tense was spent managing the transfer of the past into the future and imagining what that future might be.”

They continue, “Today, under the pressure of accelerating change, the past and future have been fused into a single tense: the present. The present is real time and real time is the only time.”

Action:

Which of the living-in-the-present slogans appeals to you the most? Pick one. And then repeat that slogan to yourself several times a day for at least 30 days in a row.

Make it a 10 in 2010!

Dr. Alan Zimmerman

Posted by mike under Purpose, Teen Topics with 3 Comments
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New Heart Attack Information on How to survive

June 19th, 2010

We did not know that you should not lie down while waiting for the EMT

Heart attack info NEW ASPIRIN/ Serious stuff, no joke!!

Just a reminder to all: purchase a box, keep one in your car, pocketbook, wallet, bedside, etc.

IMPORTANT READ……

Something that we can do to help ourselves. Nice to know.
Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve on the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep aspirin by your bedside?
About Heart Attacks

There are other symptoms of a heart attack besides the pain on the left arm.
One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur less frequently.
Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack. The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water .
Afterwards :
CALL 911
- say “heart attack!”
- say that you have taken 2 aspirins..
- phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by
- take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and…
~ DO NOT lie down ~

A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this e-mail, sends it to 10 people, probably one life can be saved!

I have already shared the information- – What about you?

We did not know that you should not lie down while waiting for the EMT

Heart attack info NEW ASPIRIN/ Serious stuff, no joke!!

Just a reminder to all: purchase a box, keep one in your car, pocketbook, wallet, bedside, etc.

IMPORTANT READ……

Something that we can do to help ourselves. Nice to know.
Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve on the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep aspirin by your bedside?
About Heart Attacks

There are other symptoms of a heart attack besides the pain on the left arm.
One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur less frequently.
Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack. The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water .
Afterwards :
CALL 911
- say “heart attack!”
- say that you have taken 2 aspirins..
- phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by
- take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and…
~ DO NOT lie down ~

A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this e-mail, sends it to 10 people, probably one life can be saved!

I have already shared the information- – What about you?

Do forward this message; it may save a life.

Posted by mike under Uncategorized with 5 Comments
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Teen Alert

June 14th, 2010

Could your teen career insurance and coaching have prevented a tragedy? Had dinner with several teens and one had a best friend’s brother died today – a drug overdose. Do you think it could have been prevented if he had a life purpose and was working on it?

Posted by mike under Purpose, Uncategorized with 8 Comments
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