Flame of Hope

The journey of self discovery

Is anyone out there? What is Career Teen Insurance? Do You need any?

Hi everyone, well so far we have covered a lot of ground.  You may want to go back and do some review.

  • This series “Teen Career Insurance” is being created for parents and grandparents of teens who are in the process of deciding what to do with the next phase of their lives – that period after High School.  It can be a very difficult time if they do not know who they really are, what they really want to do, where to do it and have the resources they need to begin.  This is why I created “Career Teen Insurance” so you can protect and insure you teen’s future.
  • This series is about your coaching your teens, planting seeds, exploring possibilities and discoveries about Who I Am, What I Want; What I am Good at – thus Insuring your teen’s future success.
  • There is always a cost involved in getting it wrong, but a bigger cost in leaving it to chance.  There are some interesting facts in my blog, but it costs about $20, 000 per year to send your teen to college at a public university in your state, more for out of state and more yet for a private university.  So what if they do not want to go to college, well that is fine – so what do they want to do?  What will they be most successful doing?  What career areas best match up with their strengths, interests, gifts and talent?  I often talk to graduating seniors on Careers Day, and it has been my experience that many do not know what they want to do, yes they have invested in a career direction, but do not feel comfortable choosing a career – guess what?  After five or ten years of work, these college graduates still do not know – they know they are not satisfied with what they are doing, but now they have invested a lot of years as well as the cost of a degree – they often are afraid to try something new – something they are better suited for and will be more successful and fulfilled doing.  So what is the answer?  Invest as early as possible in Career Insurance – the lessons I have included and are yet to come.  It all comes down to making an informed choice based on your own set of gifts, talents and strengths etc.
  • It is my belief that each of us was born with a purpose and that purpose includes an ideal career path that is just right for each individual – you have the special gifts and talents, strengths, interests and personality for a reason – to fulfill your purpose.  It is your job in life to discover what it is and to Live Your Purpose.  So how do I find it? Ha, now we are getting somewhere.  I have outlined the topics and suggested that the parent or grandparent coach their teen, by planting seeds of possibility – letting the teen discover “Who they are, to what purpose and using what they have learned to find the career path that fits their unique Self.
  • I have given you some tools to help the process along:
    • What are feelings and what do they have to do with anything?
    • Developing a baseline of feelings to see how satisfied they are with their lives right now.
    • A wheel of life to see how to look at the pieces of their lives – something they will use over and over to discover how they feel, what they are good at, what they value etc – lots of self discovery by looking at the pieces.
    • Are you ready or have you already begun?  Need some help – I am here, but are you up to the challenge?  Will you leave this critical decision to chance?  I spent a lifetime discovering my real life purpose – wouldn’t it be great to find out now?  Would it be nice to escape making all the same mistakes we have all made when it comes to a career?  Jump back in and start swimming, I will be your champion for success and life guard.

Time is all there is, it is up to you how you use, spend or invest it! Guest Post from Dr Al Zimmerman

Dr. Zimmerman’s TUESDAY TIP:

“Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.”
Robert Orben

What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say About This:

The great business philosopher, Jim Rohn observed, “Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it, and spend it rather than invest it.”

That’s sad … because you don’t get a second chance to use it. Your first shot is your last one. You get one crack … and one crack only … at using any given period of time. And if you screw it up, too bad. There are no do-overs.

By contrast, I’ve noticed that the happiest people and the most successful are almost always very skilled in the way they invest their time. Oh sure, they get the same amount of time as anyone else, 24 hours a day, and not a minute more. But you can be certain that the way they think about time … and the way they allocate time … is very different than the way negative, demotivated people approach it.

To make sure you’re investing your time wisely, there are 4 things you’ve got to do.

=> 1. Don’t spend too much time in the past.

That would be about as foolish as trying to drive a car that had a rear-view mirror that was bigger than the windshield. You would probably crash.

And the same goes for time. If you live your life in the past, you’re going to crash the present. You’re going to ruin it.

The past only serves two purposes. It provides lessons and preserves memories. So pick up the lessons from your past. Reflect on your good memories once in a while. And then get on with the present.

As author Ida Scott Taylor wrote in the early 1900’s, “One day at a time — this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.”

=> 2. Spend the “right” amount of time on the future.

The key is the “right” amount of time. If you spend too little time, you’re living your life on auto-pilot. You’re living your life without purpose and goals … and that will never lead to happiness or success.

If you spend too much time on the future, dreaming about how good life could be … if only certain things would happen … you once again miss the present.

You’re living your life in a fantasy world, rather than working on making it happen.

Of course, I know the “right” amount of time may be somewhat of a dilemma. The comedian Jerry Seinfeld commented on that. He said, “I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication … Not easy. There’s an entire wall of products that you need. You stand there going, ‘Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting … Which is more important, the present or the future?’”

Well, Jerry, I can answer that for you. The present is more important … because what you do in the present determines your future.

The Chinese knew that hundreds of years ago. As stated in one of their ancient proverbs, “If you want to know your past, look into your present conditions.

If you want to know your future, look into your present actions.”

=> 3. Focus on the present.

As I tell my audiences, “Wherever you are, be there!” Don’t fret about work when you’re at home, and don’t worry about the kids when you’re at work. Learn to be totally present.

The great conductor Arturo Toscanini mastered the skill. On his 80th birthday, someone asked his son Walter what his father ranked as his most important achievement. The son replied, “For him there can be no such thing. Whatever he happens to be doing at the moment is the biggest thing in his life — whether it is conducting a symphony or peeling an orange.”

Indeed, learning to live in the “now” may be critical to your success. As change expert Price Pritchett puts it, “Fast growth requires … a strong sense of ‘now-ness.’” You have to maximize the value of the moment.

As Pritchett goes on to say, “Pay attention. Consciously watch how you’re spending the fleeting now, and consider the payback you’ll get. Are you making a good investment of your hours and minutes? Or are you wasting these scarce resources … spending time on stuff that offers little return … fumbling the opportunity for fast growth?”

You need to show great respect for the now. If you fill it with right behaviors, you’ll be rewarded with fast results.

And finally,

=> 4. Adopt the mind set of living in the present.

Now I know that’s easier said than done … that we all need to live in the present. But it can be done … if you reflect on a few slogans throughout your day. In fact, you can even write them down, put them on a card, and read the card three or four times a day.

And thanks to the millions of people who have gone through 12-step programs or other recovery programs, these slogans have been time tested and proven to work. So give them a try. They’ll keep you focused on the present.

**Easy does it.

**First things first.

**How important is it?

**Just for today.

**Keep it simple.

**Keep an open mind.

**Let go and let God.

**Let it begin with me.

**Listen and learn.

**Live and let live.

**One day at a time.

**Progress not perfection.

Yes, the more you reflect on these slogans, the easier it will be for you to live your life to the fullest … in the present. And if you want to get real technical about it, the present is the only time you have anyway.

As mentioned in “The 500 Year Delta” by Jim Taylor and Watts Wacker, “Once upon a time, you could live in three tenses — the past, the present, and the future. There was a time to consult history; there was a time to plan to what lay ahead. The present tense was spent managing the transfer of the past into the future and imagining what that future might be.”

They continue, “Today, under the pressure of accelerating change, the past and future have been fused into a single tense: the present. The present is real time and real time is the only time.”

Action:

Which of the living-in-the-present slogans appeals to you the most? Pick one. And then repeat that slogan to yourself several times a day for at least 30 days in a row.

Make it a 10 in 2010!

Dr. Alan Zimmerman

Career Teen Insurance, Session 2 Lession Two – How am I right now??

Lesson is now complete, take a look and get started.   Let me know if there are questions and comments.

So did you have a Teen graduate?? So what Now???? Are they on the path to success in a job or career?

Message

http://flameofhope.net/?p=95&cpage=1#comment-128

New Heart Attack Information on How to survive

We did not know that you should not lie down while waiting for the EMT

Heart attack info NEW ASPIRIN/ Serious stuff, no joke!!

Just a reminder to all: purchase a box, keep one in your car, pocketbook, wallet, bedside, etc.

IMPORTANT READ……

Something that we can do to help ourselves. Nice to know.
Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve on the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep aspirin by your bedside?
About Heart Attacks

There are other symptoms of a heart attack besides the pain on the left arm.
One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur less frequently.
Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack. The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water .
Afterwards :
CALL 911
- say “heart attack!”
- say that you have taken 2 aspirins..
- phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by
- take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and…
~ DO NOT lie down ~

A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this e-mail, sends it to 10 people, probably one life can be saved!

I have already shared the information- – What about you?

We did not know that you should not lie down while waiting for the EMT

Heart attack info NEW ASPIRIN/ Serious stuff, no joke!!

Just a reminder to all: purchase a box, keep one in your car, pocketbook, wallet, bedside, etc.

IMPORTANT READ……

Something that we can do to help ourselves. Nice to know.
Bayer is making crystal aspirin to dissolve on the tongue. They work much faster than the tablets.

Why keep aspirin by your bedside?
About Heart Attacks

There are other symptoms of a heart attack besides the pain on the left arm.
One must also be aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well as nausea and lots of sweating, however these symptoms may also occur less frequently.
Note: There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart attack. The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack during their sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens, immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of water .
Afterwards :
CALL 911
- say “heart attack!”
- say that you have taken 2 aspirins..
- phone a neighbor or a family member who lives very close by
- take a seat on a chair or sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival and…
~ DO NOT lie down ~

A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this e-mail, sends it to 10 people, probably one life can be saved!

I have already shared the information- – What about you?

Do forward this message; it may save a life.

Bad Bosses are Bad for Business – guest post

I have always enjoyed Process Based Management and What makes a Great Boss.  It took me 40+ years to discover that the key to a great job is your boss.  Dr Zimmerman has some great advice and process check for Managers – Enjoy

Dr. Zimmerman’s TUESDAY TIP:

Bad bosses are bad for business.

What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say About This:

In a well-known Gallup poll of more than 1 million employed U.S. workers, a bad boss is the number 1 reason people quit their jobs.  As Gallup said, “People leave managers not companies … In the end, turnover is mostly a manager issue.”

It’s also a bottom-line issue.  A poorly-led workforce is 50% less productive and 44% less profitable than a well-led workforce.

And finally, it’s an emotional issue.  As Tim Pflieger, the founder of the Team Leadership Center (TLC) in Door County, Wisconsin, puts it, “We are the only species that elects, selects and appoints leaders who are incapable of leadership, and that wouldn’t be so bad, but then we let them hang around … Geese and wolves wouldn’t do that.”  Yes, we let them hang around and stink up the workplace and depress the workforce.

So that begs the question … “What do employees want/need from their leaders?”  I believe they want/need four things.

=>  1.  Direction

Call it vision, purpose, conviction, or direction, people want their leaders to have it.  And they want their leaders to lead them SOMEWHERE better than where they are right now.

Before that can happen, however, the leader has to create the vision, communicate the vision, and sell the vision, so everybody understands it and everybody buys into it.

***Provide direction by “walking the talk”

And a big part of that process will be the leader’s example.  A leader can’t expect people to listen to his advice and ignore his example.  As noted in a book called the “Balancing Act” by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler, “The higher you climb up the flagpole, the more others can see your rear end.”

If you’re going to give people “Direction,” if you’re going to have a vision that enlists the full and willing cooperation of others, you’ve got to walk your talk.  After all, your employees are constantly watching you to see if you’re doing what you’re telling them to do.  They’re watching your “Direction.”

One leader thought he had a pretty good way to walk his talk and reinforce the “Direction” he was giving out.  So he purchased an expensive coffee mug with a fancy depiction of the vision statement for each employee.  It was his way of breathing extra life into the vision or “Direction” he was imparting.

***Provide direction by “talking the walk”

What he didn’t understand was that you have to do more than walk the talk … if you’re trying to lead a somewhat cynical or demoralized workforce.  You also have to talk the talk.  You have to explain the intentions behind the “Direction” you’re giving.  Otherwise, you’ll have a workforce that can easily misinterpret your leadership “Direction.”  They’ll read between the lines, inserting meanings you never intended.

That’s what happened in the coffee-mug situation.  Many of the employees assumed the coffee mugs were a thinly veiled cost-cutting device … because the new mugs were a full ounce smaller than the older ones.  They thought it must be an underhanded attempt to get people to drink less coffee.

In another situation, one executive had a vision of greater work-life balance for his workforce, and in his “Direction,” he urged his employees to balance their personal and professional lives, rather than sacrifice their family relationships for their work.  And to lead the way, he decided to take a month off and travel to China with his 19-year old son, who was about to leave the nest.

When the word got out that he was taking the vacation, several employees thought the executive was looking for other jobs.  Others said he was distancing himself from problems that would hit while he was gone, and others interpreted the action in even worse ways.

When the executive caught wind of the rumors, he decided it was time to talk the walk.  At the next all-employee meeting, he talked about the fact he hadn’t taken a vacation in 10 years and the price he paid for that.  He talked about how he sacrificed his family for his job.  He spoke personally about his relationship with his son and their 10-year dream of going to China. He talked about the value of work-life balance.  And then his people understood.

He followed up his trip by encouraging others to get more balance in their own lives.  He supported people who needed to leave a meeting a little early to attend their kids’ soccer game or attend a family reunion.  He walked his talk and he talked the talk.

When you do that, you give your employees the first thing they want and need from their leader.  You give them “Direction” … “Direction” they can understand, accept, and follow.

=>  2.  Trust

It’s the second thing employees want from their leaders.  They want their leaders to be “trustworthy.”  But what does that mean?

***Being worthy of trust

First of all, trustworthiness has to do with integrity.  As stated in the “Army Leadership Values,” integrity is doing what is right legally and morally.

Trustworthiness also has to do with courage.  As the “Army Leadership Values” go on to say, you need to have “Personal courage — to face fear, danger, or adversity.”  Or as Rudolph Giuliani states in his “Six Principles of Leadership,” you must “Have courage.  This is not the absence of fear.  It is the management of fear, of having fear and making the right decision anyway.”

And finally, trustworthiness has to do with candor.  Gut-honest candor.  Giuliani advises, “Communicate honestly and directly to your people.”

***Giving respect to others

So employees want their leaders to be trustworthy, but they also want their leaders to trust or respect them.  It’s the flip side of the same issue.  And sometimes leaders inadvertently disrespect their people and wonder why there’s so much tension and dissension in the workforce.

Roger Chavalier talked about that in “A Manager’s Guide To Improving Workplace Performance.”  He talked about a Coast Guard officer who was leading a group of trainers.  He was impressed by the group’s self-discipline.  They were all there and already at work when he arrived at 7:30 each morning.  To honor their dedication, he began arriving at 7:15, when they did.  Pretty soon, however, his trainers were arriving at 7:00.  The reason?  Their goal was to arrive a respectful 15 minutes before the boss.

Spurred by the desire to be #1, the officer began arriving earlier and earlier until he was getting there at 6:30.  At this point, his group had had enough and started showing up at 7:30, at the last possible moment.  After they all met and talked this out, the leader learned his lesson:  Respect respect.

=>  3.  Hope

It’s easy to say we’re going through tough times right now, but the truth is … we’re always going to have tough times.  And that’s why employees want their leaders to provide this third element … hope.

***Starts with optimism

Employees want a leader who believes a better future is possible.  Employees want a leader that ignites their optimism.  And people are inspired when they hear their leaders say something like Christopher Reeve did after he was paralyzed.  He said, “This appears limiting, but let’s see what can be done.”

That’s exactly the way Giuliani handled the devastating attack of 9/11 on New York City.  In his memoirs he wrote, “Be an optimist.  People do not follow pessimists.  They follow people who solve problems and have hope.”

***Continues with action plans

But hope is more than nice, rah-rah motivational talk.  It’s also fueled by clear step-by-step actions.  As Morten T. Hansen wrote about a Yale University study in “Collaboration,”  a group of students was given information on the tetanus disease, along with pictures of convulsing patients suffering from it. The students were then asked if they thought it was important to get a vaccination to prevent this disease.

Most everyone in the group said “yes.”  Then a portion of those students were given a map to a medical clinic where the vaccine was being administered.  They were asked to review their schedules and find a convenient time to get the vaccination.

When the researchers tracked the number of students who actually got the vaccine, only 3% of those who saw the pictures and said “yes” to getting the vaccine went to the clinic.  But 28% of the students who received the map to the clinic got the vaccination.

The researchers concluded that giving people hope was not enough.   They had to do more than indicate there was a vaccine out there that would prevent tetanus.  They had to outline the step-by-step actions … or the detailed map that had to be followed … before there was much in the way of desired behavior change.

So as a leader, you need to give your people hope, but you also need to show them what they have to do to make that hope become a reality.

And finally,

=>  4.  Results

People want their leader to bring about results.  After all, as executive coach Dan Coughlin puts it, “You’re not paid to do activities; you’re paid to improve results.”

That’s right … improve results … by bringing out the best in your people.  “Your job as a team leader,” says leadership consultant Adele B. Lynn, “is to help people live up to their best intentions.”

And that invariably leads to more training.  You can’t expect your people to do better if they’re not trained and equipped to do any better.

Unfortunately, there are some “leaders” who think they don’t have the time or can’t spare the money to give their people any more training.  They may even wonder if the training is necessary.

I can help you answer that question by asking you two more questions.  Do the majority of your people have talents that are not being tapped in their present jobs?  And are you under pressure to produce more results without hiring more workers?

If you answered “yes” to both questions, you automatically know two things.  First your people have unused capacity … which you desperately need to get the results you want.  Second, it’s time to start developing that talent.

In summary, employees want four things from their leaders:  Direction, Trust, Hope, and Results.  When you provide those four things, your people tend to stick with you, and they perform exceedingly well.  You’re creating an environment where excellence is automatic and prevalent.

One of my clients, Medrad, a medical imaging products maker, puts it very well.  As president and CEO, John Friel says, “I don’t do anything. I don’t make anything. I don’t design anything. I don’t sell anything, so the real work of this company is all done by other people.  My job is to create the environment for those people to be successful, and I believe if I’m out and get a feel for what the real workers are doing, then I think it enables me to do a better job of creating the environment for them.  Employees will know whether you’re living this stuff or not.  They’re very smart.”

Action:

If you’re a leader, ask five of your subordinates to grade you on the elements of Direction, Trust, Hope, and Results.  Ask them where you are the strongest and where you most need to improve.

Teen Alert

Could your teen career insurance and coaching have prevented a tragedy? Had dinner with several teens and one had a best friend’s brother died today – a drug overdose. Do you think it could have been prevented if he had a life purpose and was working on it?

Career Teen Insurance, Session 2 Lession Two – How am I right now??

This lesson has three parts and will be spread out during the week;  here is what we will cover:

  • Finding that feeling place – quiet your mind and listening skills
  • Why understanding your feelings is important.
  • Wheel of life – a starting place for understanding how satisfied you are right now.  Lets get started!

Session 2 Lesson Two “How Am I right now?

By now, hopefully you have talked to your teen and asked them if they would like to explore more about who they are, what they are good at and how that can lead to a career choice that will really make them happy and fulfilled.  If you got a positive response, you probably have looked over the getting ready section – thought about your coaching and mentoring skills and decided if you are up to the challenge.  If not, perhaps you can encourage your teen to follow along and sign up for my blog updates – I will be giving them some helpful hints and tips that may lead them down the path of self discovery.  If you are up to the challenge – let’s forge ahead.

1.  Finding that feeling place – quiet your mind and improve your listening skills

    If you are ever to make meaningful change, it must come from the inside; hence we will be working on what is known as the “Inside Out Process”.  The key to the process is to find that “feeling place” within you to tap into ( and get out of your head); HOW is the million dollar question – and it is seems to be harder in teens than in adults, but perhaps that is just my perception, or can it be that kids are always in their head?    There are many resources that will give you answers to how to get in touch with your feeling, that feeling place (heart, spirit, energy source) and I may add a number of guest articles and white papers (look in Free Tools and Services), but here is what I have found useful to date with my limited experience:

    • Get into a quiet time and space – one where you will not be interrupted (turn off your cell).  I find that the first thing in the morning before anyone is up has been my best time.  With Kids, you have to take what you can get.
    • Focus on your breathing.  Sitting or lying down, shut your eyes and try and clear your mind of “monkey chatter”.  Take a few deep breaths and try and relax, notice what is going thru your mind.  Now focus on your breathing – notice your chest and belly as they rise and fall with each deep breath (you may have to direct your breath into the stomach).  Again notice, but do not focus on what is going thru your mind – notice and let it go.  Try deep breathing for a few minutes and then breathe regularly – each time your mind drifts to a subject other than your breathing, notice but let it go.  Once you have quieted your mind listen to what your inner voice is saying, what you are feeling – don’t hold on just notice.  With practice you will be able to get into your feeling place much more quickly.
    • In a classroom situation, I found it possible for the kids to just take 4-5 deep breaths and try and relax – then I asked them a question:  On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being very low and 10 being the highest, how are you feeling about yourself – physically and spiritually (your heart or feeling place)?  Every session we go through the “How am I feeling?” exercise.  Why???
      • Feeling down affects your ability to listen and focus on what is about to happen.  If the kids are, say below a 7 on either scale; – ask them what is going on in their life, what is making them feel the way they are.  Until they unload and feel better, it is probably not worth moving ahead.  In class, I  just told them to be aware that their feelings would affect what they were learning or not learning, and that taking their pulse – so to speak, was an exercise that they could use before each class to see if they were ready to proceed.
    • So what can you do to get back on track with your feelings – if it is physical, you need to find a way to relax or increase comfort or something physical.  You will know what has worked in the past.

    If it is heart felt pain, anger or fear – here is an exercise found in the Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin that has worked rather well for many of my clients:

    • There are three  ways of releasing unwanted emotions
      • The first way is Choosing to let go
      • The second way is to welcome the feeling, to allow the emotion to just be
      • The third way is to dive into the very core of the emotion

    You can read about all three in his book, we will only be looking at option one – choosing to let go, and here is how it works:

    Make yourself comfortable and focus inwardly.  Your eyes closed

    • Step one – focus on the issue you would like to feel better about then allow yourself to feel whatever comes up in the moment
    • Step two- Ask yourself the following three questions:
      • Could I let go of this feeling?
      • Would I let go of this feeling?  Would I rather have this feeling or would I rather be free?
      • When- and invitation to Now.
      • Repeat this preceding process as often as needed until you feel free of the particular feeling.

    2.  Why understanding your Feelings is important!

      This may be a little tough for me to explain and I do not claim to be any type of expert, but here is what I have discovered.  The head (mind) is basically a computer and deals with current and past data.  For the projection into the future, it uses past data, habits and thoughts.  The mind is very analytical and logical and wants to do things the way you have in the past – i.e. habits and thought patterns tend to be repeated, especially if they have been successful in the past – why waste time and energy thinking about new ways of behaving and thinking?  Well this can be good as long as situations and conditions have not changed and those current habits are producing the results you desire.  Often the case is that our old habits and patterns of thought are no longer relevant to changing conditions and need to be reevaluated – so how can you tell?  Here is where feelings come into play.  If you feel bad about how your life is going or if you feel anxiety, anger and your body feels bad, then this is a good indication that you want and need to change.  So feelings are a good barometer of how well things are going in the present.  Concerning self evaluation and determining what you really want in the future – you again need to be in touch with your feeling place and trust what your heart is telling you.  When you examine our life and ask what you really want, why and such things as your values, how you want to live your life, what you are strengths are – the answers will come from your heart, not your mind.  I have added a section on Obstacles to getting what you want, and we will examine the subject of the mind and how it holds you back, and yes what you can do about it.  So enough of this for now – let’s move on!

      3.  Wheel of Life – a starting point for understanding how satisfied you are with your life right now!  And yes it does rely on your being in touch with your feeling place. It sometimes helps to develop compartments for various areas of your life, so we can examine deal with them individually. In working with my class, they came up with the following labels for the various areas of their lives – hope it fits, if not change the labels to fit your experiences and how you see the areas of your life.  The picture below may not be clear enough, so here are the 9 key areas and the basic content of each:

        • In the center is “Myself” – how I feel about the collective me- my eating habits, exercise, how I get along with others, how I respond to me (like/dislike what I see).
        • (from the top moving clockwise)
        • Play – How am I finding enough time to play?  What type of activities do I really enjoy? Do I have a favorite hobby or sport that I pursue?
        • Friends – Groups, close friends, people I respect and can trust.
        • Special Gifts – What are my special gifts and talents?  What am I know for?  Am I using them in important areas of my life?
        • Helping Others – How am I doing at helping others, community service, tutor or mentoring others?
        • School – How am I doing?  Am I satisfier with my classes, teachers’, school, where I am headed after High School?  Do I have a plan for what’s next?
        • What’s missing?  An area to fill in a part of your life not explored in the wheel!
        • Family – Parents, bothers/sisters, relatives, grandparents, heritage, pets.
        • Money and resources- What I earn, jobs, allowances and expenses (what I need).

        ******Here is an exercise you can do for yourself and with your teen********

        Using the list or diagram – look at each area of our life and rate how things are going in this area right now.  (Using a scale of 1-10 with 1 stinks and 10 couldn’t be better). Now try sharing one area in your life that is going very well and why.  Share one area that you would like to improve and why.   Now to get an overall feel for how your life is going, try this little exercise.  Copy this wheel below and shade in the area of satisfaction that best fits how you are feeling about that area – i.e. 10% to 100% satisfied.  Now connect the segments with a dark pencil or marker.  Pretend you are riding a unicycle and this is your wheel – what type of ride would you get?  What could you do to improve the ride?  Would that help improve the overall satisfaction with your current life?  How about your future satisfaction?

        Nice Job!!! Well, how did the sharing and insights go?  You may want to record you findings in your journal so you can compare the results at the end of the class or in the future.  So here is what we have covered in this lesson:

        How am I right now? Exercises in getting in touch with your feelings – physical, emotional and spiritual.

        • Finding that feeling place – quiet your mind and listening skills
        • Why understanding your feelings is important.
        • Wheel of life – a starting place for understanding how satisfied you are right now.

        ****Feedback time*****

        Now would be a great time for feedback, so if you are willing here is what I would like to know:

        1. What were the key learning’s, insights and or breakthroughs – did you record them in a journal?
        2. What went well?
        3. What didn’t go well?
        4. What would you have liked more of?

        We all have a certain amount of baggage we bring into a new learning situation, now you have a better idea of where your teen’s starting point.   The wheel of life explores categories that teens have in common.  Next we will get into more self and introspective areas of “Who am I? “.  We begin with Values clarification– what are they, where they come from and what do I value, what is important to me?  We will be looking at areas that make us unique individuals.

        Waiting for Superman

        Think Career Teen Insurance is a joke?  Well take a look at”

        Waiting for Superman trailer Watch a clip from the movie

        Read these Washington state education statistics developed by TAF: http://blogs.techaccess.org/medialab/2010/06/10/taf-summer-reading-list/  My wife and I have volunteered at TAF and they are on the right track for education.

        Part 2 of Lesson One “Introduction and Getting Ready!”

        I have a brief list of questions to give to your teen (that should get them started down the path to self discovery) if they are ready to start.

        What do you want to do with the rest of your life?  Will they relate to his question when they do not know what they want to do today?  My sense is that they will.  They probably want more information on what you mean.  Well life is full of choices so what would they like to accomplish in each area of their lives – woops we are getting ahead of the parts of their lives – that is explored more in lesson two.  But you can give them a list of questions to begin thinking about – they will help along the way.

          • What do I do well and enjoy doing?
          • What activities do I enjoy?
          • What am I doing when I am the happiest?
          • What makes me smile?  Laugh?  Cry?  Sad?
          • What kind of stories do I like to hear most?
          • Am I aware of my special Gifts?
          • What turns me off?  What turns me on?
          • What motivates me?

        I would also suggest that your teen might like to journal about what they are learning.  Since trust is critical I would ask if they would like to keep these discoveries just between the two of you.  Ask for permission to share if you think others will benefit by their learning.

        If possible, setup a regular time to do your coaching and career sessions – this will help establish an expectation on their part that they will be working on discovering  “Who they are” and it will help you reserve a time that you are most ready to help.

        Well there is a lot to digest.  I hope you are up to the challenge – as I mentioned somewhere, Mother’s have the greatest influence on whether their teen goes to college, so I imagine that it will be the mother’s who read and begin the process of coaching their teen to Career success.

        Next up is Lesson 2 - “How Am I right now?